UUUUUUGLY SWEATER PARTY 2009

I may or may not have found these sweaters in my mother in law's closet. Lets just say her selection was better than the DI (thrift store). Which, by the way, is a very interesting place. i will just leave it at that before i get myself into trouble. Anyways, it was great company, great games , great white elephant gifts (aka candy bra), and great food.

Note to Matt: Febreezing a sweater from the DI is not the same as washing it...

I just got invited to an "Ugly Sweater Party" and i couldnt be more THRILLED!!

Any suggestions wehere i can find some? Preferably with shoulder pads?

"Being grateful is the beginning of Greatness".

I am grateful for my family.

OEHLER

Look at how talented my friend Clayton is. This is called an "ambigram". It says my last name both ways. Very, very cool. So who knows a friendly tattoo artist?

Hyper Hypos

As, you have read in the previous post, my girls are full of personality & energy. Every night after their bath they are like wild animals. Tonight was no exception. So trying to have Family Home Evening by myself tonight was ridiculous.

Here is how it went:
"Hayley, will you please choose a scripture story to read". Hayley finds the picture of Adam and Eve. i ask her who they are and with a puzzling look she answers "Even?"
I get it... Adam + Eve + garden of Eden = EVEN. Interesting.

Leah then asks if the painting of Eve is Taylor Swift.

I ask Leah where Adam and Eve lived and her answer was "San Francisco".

Not so much.

But people, I am TRYING. Sometimes it is so hard to be Christlike and patient when i have NO patience! Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. :)

Matt's Children

This is what happens when we stay home from church. Leah was feverish and lethargic the previous day and she is clearly feeling better in these photos.

They came upstairs as I was lying on the couch and wanted to perform "the Butt Show". Everything is about butts these days. You just have to incorporate the word "butt" in any sentence and they will fall to the floor in hysterics. But Matt and I would never, ever do such a thing!

Not.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!!!!!

My WONDERFUL friend Hillary suprised me with tickets to my fave show ever! It was the perfect GNO! But it reminded me once again that i should be a back up dancer for Gwen Stefani!

Where did peaceful Reese go?

This child rules our house. It is HER domain. Sometimes she looks at us as if she is thinking "what are YOU doing here?"
The screaming continues. Sometimes it sounds non-human. I am just waiting for the sign language skills to kick in. She has watched that darn sign language video at least 30 times. There have been a few break throughs.
If she is even slightly tired or grumpy she doesnt want to make eye contact. She will even get mad at her own reflection!
But, BUT, she is BRIGHT and SILLY and needs cuddling and affection just as much as she needs to run around and explore. Her little body and pig tails are about the cutest thing in my world.
Her body is healthy and her wheels are turning.
She is one of a kind and I love her like mad.

A few things you should know about mice that will want to make you vomit.

I must admit that before a few weeks ago I did not know very much about mice. Only that we have fed many to our snake, but i did not know anything about how they can infiltrate your house.

So PLEASE take the time to read these few facts and LEARN so that you dont have to learn by experience like I did.

* If mice can get into your garage, they can get into your house.
* A female can have up to 1000 babies a year and has 10-13 a litter.
* They can survive on only a tsp of water a month.
* If you can fit a pecil through a space, a mouse can fit through also.
* They suck at swimming.

I have personally caught 6 in my house. Gross, i know. 2 by hand, 3 by glue traps and 1 by a clamp trap.

And EVERYTIME the girls see one fighting for its life on a glue trap they ask if we can keep it because its soooo cute.

And this is how Leah told Matt the other day: "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy caught a cute little baby mouse and she put it in the trash can (empty kitchen trash) and then she put water in it (she hasnt taken a breath yet) and it was swimming (she is making paddling motions) and swimming and it was soo cute when it was swimming (breath) and then...it..stopped...it stopped....swimming." VERY ANTICLIMACTIC.

The EXOTIC ONE

The Exotic sister is in town from exotic California and we were able to have a short but sweet visit together. Boy oh boy, do I feel ever so plain, unstylish, FAIR and freckly next to the exotic one. Isnt she beautiful? I am just wating for Judy and Lou to break the news to us that she was adopted from Brazil or Tiajuana or somewhere...

My HOT Date with Donnie Baker

* frost lipstick. check.
* pink legwarmers. check.
* t-shirt that says "im the bomb, like tick tick." check.
* ripped leggings with sequences. check.
* neon plastic jewelry. check.
* my 5 earing holes for my neon hoops still open. check.
* crimped hair with ratted ponytail. check.
* blue eyeshadow with pink glitter. check.
* belt with diamond studded tape cassette belt buckle. check.
* 1984 Michael Jackson magazine as my prop. check.
* MOST HILARIOUS HUSBAND WHO WAS IN CHARACTER ALL NIGHT. CHECK.
* BUT THE MULLET AND SWEAT PANTS NEED TO BE BURNED. ASAP. MEN IN SWEATS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.

(And i might add that I was one of two non scandalous costumes there.)

WONDERMENT

We have experienced our first snow of this fall and boy, is it exciting! The main goal seems to be to EAT the snow, any way you prefer. Hand-feeding it to younger siblings which is Hayleys method, or just simply eating it off the pumpkins, which is Leah's method. Both methods seem to portray their personalities quite well!

I really, really , really love this man.

Some may know that our actual "courtship" was a long-distance one and VERY short. The majority of people would be SHOCKED if they learned the details. But I knew that I could NOT, absolutely in any way, let him get away.

Thankfully, very thankfully, he felt the same. Really? Me? I look back at pictures of myself as a teenager with my perm and Birkenstocks (scary, right?) and never would have imagined my life as it is now.

Dont get me wrong. I dont like to paint a perfect picture because the reality is you can never get too comfortable in marriage. And i must stop myself from sounding like i am giving advice because surely, i need to be recieving it. I would say my motto would be "what if" because i let the stresses of life get to me and Matt's motto is "whatever". He is alaways reminding me that God has watched over us and we will be okay. I guess that is why we are good together.

I know, without any doubt, God had His eye on both of us, coordinating our lives so that our paths crossed at the perfect time. I highly doubt that God "crosses His fingers" when watching His children stumble through life but i know that He wants us to be happy. I am sure He breathed a sigh of relief when Matt and I finally met. And He continues to watch us, very carefully, hoping that we appreciate His efforts of bringing Matt and I together. The man who married us said that FAILURE WAS NOT AN OPTION. Thats a good thing to remember. Anyways, enough sappiness.

Cousins and Vampire Teeth

Destroyer of All Things Tidy..but the LOVE of my Life.

Pancakes and icecubes for breakfast..mmmmm.

And it continues....

- Last night when Hayley and Leah were coloring , Leah told me she was drawing a picture of Taylor Swift and her boyfriend in bed...ummm...okay.

- Fascinated with the fact that there are mice (ack!!) in our house, after catching mouse #4 and this morning and seeing it squirm on the glue trap asked if we could keep it because it was soo cute. Just a few minutes ago she reminded me of that mouse and described it as "gorgeous".

-And Reese, cute yet destructive Reese, please STOP licking the glass because i am low on windex. Also, licking cotton balls is not a good idea, unless you are Buddy on Elf, then i would say go right ahead.

Cute...yet, perplexing.

I could blog everyday about something Leah says or does and yesterday she was on a roll. Here are a few..

- While watching a Baby Einstein video with Reese which has puppets and real people she asks, "Mom, are those puppets dressed up as people?"

- Her name for Reese yesterday was "Reese Boob".

- Proudly she tells me "mom, i can spell DVD! ...D-V-D!"

-Disappointed that Matt ate all of the crab for dinner, I offered her fish and she asks "whats fish? is it crab?" No Leah, its fish.

Well, the apple doesnt fall far from the tree . The other day after going over to the church, my car wouldnt start. I was able to get it jump started and went home, and thought it was a good idea to let it run to have the battery charge. Well, after bathing the kids, doing the bedtime routine and watching a few shows, Matt turned it off two hours later.

I could probably think of several other examples about how i have a hollow head, but since its hollow i cant think of any more!

A Visit From Emily (Hermana Stewart)

A friend from my mission came to visit me this weekend with her husband and kids. Some of the memories we made included watching the show "the Big bang Theory" which is HILARIOUS, a yummy Sunday dinner, catching a baby mouse in my house (which i might add should be a sport because it is very difficult), escaping to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory for a caramel apple and Downeast to lust after their CUTE clothes! Thanks Emily for talking, laughing, listening and just being you!

Aggie A-Dawg Aggster

My neighbor asked if i could take a few pics of her little girl Aggie. After I was done , i was reminded how much i enjoy it. My friend Sarah, who is an awesome photographer told me to just buy a black sheet and throw it up on your wall and you have your very own "studio". So, voila!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

* Pine-sol . I am addicted. The smell is euphoric to me and it usually means some part of my house is clean and without germies.

*HALLOWEEN -For sure my favorite holiday. 4th of July is a close second. I love that i can hang a "dead foot", as my girls like to call it, and its okay.

* Seeing my girls play WELL together. Sometimes they cant stand eachother but litle do they realize how precious their relationship is and how important they are to eachother.

* The Biggest Loser. I have cried through every episode. Sometimes audibly.

* When Matt wakes from slumber. I love when he emerges from our room peering out into the hall as if he is wondering if its safe to come out into the world of crazy children. This is usually around 2 or 3, right when i can use a little R&R. We will play until he has to go back to work in the pm and now I cant imagine how other women live without their hubbies until 6 or 7!

* Feeding people GOOD food. I love having family or friends over for a meal. Even if its a slice of warm cornbread on a cold day, it makes me happy.

* Finally, my own "a-ha" moments or self-realization when i can clearly see, without feelings of discouragement what i need to improve. Even better, actually improving these things! I have had tid-bits of personal success in the last month or so and it is rejuvinating to me. Watching conference gave me more of these moments.

Will somebody diagnose me please?

So I have asthma. But I was diagnosed with "exercise induced asthma" when i was younger. Strangly, my asthma did not act up at all when i moved to Utah 13 years ago. i only needed my inhaler when i would go back down to California OR if I was going to be anywhere there was a cat. I maybe would use my inhaler 1-2 times a year.

For almost a year now i have been running. I started out running for a few minutes everyday. (I was out very out of shape after I had Reese.) Now i run 3-5 miles a day a few days a week. I have used my inhaler 1 time through all of this.

These last couple of weeks I have noticed my breathing getting worse. This morning was terrible. After 1/2 mile i am not even paying attention to my music because i am waiting for my body to let me fully inhale. Finally i can and i run a little further. My body feels like i am carrying an extra 50 lbs and i am totally sluggish. AND totally frustrated. The absolute STUPID thing is that my inhaler is empty because i was going to eventually get it refilled because i need it like twice a year. I pushed myself to go 1.5 miles until i was light headed and wanted to throw up.
Now i am at the computer and feeling fine but very discouraged. I know, I KNOW. I will get my inhaler refilled ASAP. But really, why all of a sudden? I dont get it.

So how was your morning?

Good-bye Cheeze Its. Good-bye Life.

Helllllooo South Beach!

Warning: This post will sound totally vain. Most everyone who knows me knows that i am NOT. Vain over what? I mean, really.
But I have hit a plateau. Meaning the #s on the scale have been stuck. I cant complain. I can kind of eat whatever AS LONG AS I run several times a week. But when you stop seeing changes its kind of depressing.
And this is torture because the weather is turning colder and do you know what that means? Warm comfort food. Mash potatoes, stews, bread dipped in soup...must i go on? Not to mention the festive baked goods!
So, no bread, starches, sugar of any kind. No milk even! No fruit even! Just for a couple of weeks.
The funny thing is that i feel great after the first few days of being a BEAST.
So wish me luck. Its also nice to realize that I DO have self-control especially when all of the Halloween candy is staring you in the face!

This is ABSURD.

As I mentioned before, i have PMS, so my OB recommended taking a birth control pill. Yaz, to be specific. i opened up that little information booklet just for the heck of it and this is what i read.


RISKS OF TAKING ORAL CONTRACEPTIVES:
Risk of developing blood clots.
Heart attacks and strokes.
Gallbladder disease.
Liver Tumors
Cancer of the reproductive organs and breasts.


Besides the vaginal bleeding, fluid retention, depression (WHAT??!!), melasma, other side effects are: nausea, vomiting, change in appetite, headache, nervousness, dizziness, loss of scalphair, rash and vaginal infections.

Soooo. ummm. No thanks, I think i will just go for being depressed 3 days out of 30.

Can i butt you please?

I was asking Hayley about her day at school and who she played with. She told me names of two boys and sometimes they play "can I butt you please." Perplexed, I asked what that game was and she said "Mom, its when you are standing in line and let's say I am behind Nick and i ask if i can butt him, and then i get in front of him!"
"No Hayley, you are suppose to ask if you can butt-in!"
Her eyes became evry big and her response was a thoughtful "oooohhhhh".

Miss Independant

Dear Reese,
I would like you to take a look at this picture. You belong to a HAPPY family. Well, happy about 95% of the time. But lately you have not been so happy. I understand that you are getting your two front fangs in and that is probably painful. But you did get 4 molars at once and this seems to be much more difficult. Maybe your fingers hurt from chewing on them so much.
I also recognize that you are usually wearing hand me downs. Probably everyday. Is this hurting your identity as favorite child in the family? Is this what its about? An identity crisis? We all do look alike, with the blonde hair and all. People think daddy and i look like brother and sister. So maybe we can weave in some darker extensions for you, so you can stand out a bit.
I also see your frustrations through the physical abuse. i know Leah runs up to you out of no where and slaps you for no reason, but this DOES NOT mean you can slap me across the face. This needs to stop. ASAP. Along with the screaming. I need my ability to hear. Since my eyesight is failing and other body parts are not quite what they were at 20, I would like to be able to hear. Believe me, someday you will be able to talk and express profound gratitude for what an amazing mother I am and I would like to be able to hear those words.
So, maybe we can work on some sign language together and i can buy those videos that teach you how to read when you are like 2 years old. So then you wont be addicted to Dora like some other kid that I know. Even though the pool is closed, i will let you stay in the bath extra long. And i wont make you eat peanut butter and jelly or tasteless mac n cheese while daddy and i eat Cafe Rio.
I will do my best to show you that i still adore you and want to gobble you up everyday. Because i would like to give you a younger sibling to play with, but how things are going right now I might postpone that for a few years. Love ya kid.
Sincerely, MOM

MEET MILES

So take a look at what the cop brought home. There are simply no words to express how I feel about it. Well, there are..but..you know. He has already ran away once and now I know why the girls were inspired to name him Miles. Reese finally has someone to boss around and she does a good job at it. Good thing he is a rather cute dog. I aint havin no ugly dogs at my house!

DE-NIED

Hayley just started first grade. So part of my morning routine includes spending a good half hour with her. Just her. Helping her get dressed, doing her hair, reading to her as she eats her breakfast and making sure she gets to school on time.
This may seem like no big deal to the more seasoned mothers, but its a new and special thing to me to have a quiet household and be able to focus on one child.
I have been trying to read scriptures with Hayley while she eats. Or I try and cram in a mini-gospel lesson hoping that those ideas will be in the back of her head all day and help her. I have not been extremely good at this kind of stuff but i want to be.
But yesterday she said to me before she ran off to the playground " And Mom, no kisses, BECAUSE PEOPLE STARE."
Ughhhh. really? No kisses? None? Nada? And she informed me that walking her to school is not necessary.
My eyes started to burn. But i kept my composure. At least she didnt scream "You are a murderer of love!" like in the movie "Dan in Real Life". Which I am sure happens in real- life. So I guess I am okay. For now.