Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Lots of Thoughts

So, my computer refuses to upload my photos and since words do not seem to just flow from my brain to the keyboard, my blogging has been minimal. AND i feel like i am very busy. I just got a new calling, or job i should say, in my church. I am 1st counselor in the Relief Society, which consists of the women in our church. And i LOVE it. Our whole purpose is to help others in any way, but essentially help them want to draw closer to Jesus Christ. This is very good for me since I love getting to know people, but also I feel that it makes up for where I am lacking as a mother. You see, motherhood is challenging.
I feel like i should have taken several courses so i can learn how to deal with EVERY age group and EVERY personality. I could spend half of my day trying to figure out my 5 year old and how to handle her and the other half PRAYING for patience and love. Just because you conceived this child, grew her in your uterus, birthed her with tears of joy and then drooled over her as a baby, does NOT guarantee that it wont be challenging. Of course I LOVE my daughter, but we butt heads. You see, she is very smart and she remembers E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. She has an iron will that girl and wants immediate results. And after a long day with her, the conclusion is the same. She just needs to feel my love and has to be absolutely positive that it is available to her. And i need something you cannot find in a store or a bottle. And its PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING. I think when we die, we feel everything that we made people feel, whether its joy or pain. And as a mother, my job is to teach her about Jesus. I have to better and keep her close so she can remember these important things that i teach her. And so it goes..I have to believe that all of this will make me better than i am!