Monday, May 18, 2009

Bittersweet

Our friend Michelle passed away this morning at the age of 28 from cancer. I cannot begin to describe the myriad of thoughts and emotions that have been running through me for the last few weeks and especially the last 24 hours. Matt and I visited her a couple of weeks ago and talked to her at her bedside. She was on oxygen for her delicate body that had been fighting this disease for almost a third of her life. WHAT do you say to someone, especailly someone who is young, that is dying?? i cannot explain what it feels like to be beside someone, someone who is a mother of 3 like me , who will soon lay down their mortal body and whose Spirit will transcend to a place far beyond our idea of perfection. And who will be greeted by loved ones who have gone before her. I wanted to ask what that feels like. HOW do you articulate to your young children that your moments with them in mortality are numbered? What would it take for them to KNOW that you will be ever so near them and that angels will watch over them? What do you say? Of course i could not articulate anything well and it took me all that i had not to openly sobb.
This morning I had a dream that I was rushing to a hospital to see her and it seemed to take forever. And when i got there it was too late and she had passed. Thank goodness our goodbyes here are not really goodbyes. I have absolute surety that Michelle has been released from her mortal body for a short time until the day of Resurrection when her spirit and body will be reunited in perfection. Then she will embrace her children, husband and family again and in that time it will all be clear and all sorrow will cease. What a day that will be.
I came across a quote by Elder Neal A. Maxwell that says " As we wait with those who are dying..we brush against the veil, as goodbyes and greetings are said within earshot of eachother."

6 comments:

Sarie said...

That was beautiful lori. straight from the heart.
xoxo

Katie said...

Well said. My heart goes out to Justin and those cute kids. I only knew Michelle a little but she was a beautiful person inside and out.

noelle said...

oh lori, this made me cry. so sweet and open and tender, just like you.

Leslie said...

Hi Lori! I've been meaning to say hello to you on this for a couple of weeks now...Joey says it's not nice to stalk people! Very well put! It's so hard to comprehend what Michelle and Justin have gone through...my heart just aches so much for them. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful quote! I'm sure we will see you on Thursday...but if you want to email me I can send you an invite to our blog too.
~Leslie (Joey's wife)
ledwards0713@yahoo.com

Kara said...

oh Lori that last quote was amazing I hope you don't mind if I borrow it (ok steal it) and put in on my blog about being mormon and the post i am doing about losing my grandpa! Love ya! HUGS!

Kenison Family said...

Lori, What a beautiful tribute to Michelle. We are all going to miss her so much! We need to get together and do something for Justin. I hope we see you tonight and tomorrow.